Who is a virgin? A virgin is completely whole and untainted from anything and anyone who will or has stolen their innocence. It’s not enough to hop around town telling us you have never had sexual intercourse but if you have been ‘turned on’ in any way, then you are no longer a virgin. It’s not about being isolated in a monastery or nunnery but being set apart in a ungodly and immoral world.
A kiss, a cuddle or a hug with someone we are attracted to might seem innocent but many times, this is the beginning of a downward spiral to fornication and adultery. Our ever-changing and unstable emotions cannot be trusted. We are unable to tell how strong we are till we get into a situation we can’t control. Let s/he who thinks s/he stands take heed lest s/he falls.
“If you have been ‘turned on’ in any way, then you are no longer a virgin. It’s not about being isolated in a monastery or nunnery but being set apart in a ungodly and immoral world.”
Some people claim they have not crossed the line (whatever that means) but they have done every other thing else. God’s the final judge and not our personal opinion or what’s trending. We are spirits, we have a soul and live in a body. A virgin has a pure heart, pure hands and a pure body. If any of those parts of your body are no longer pure or have been tampered with, then you may not be a virgin.
Do virgins still exist? Yes, but it’s a dwindling number of them left as the enemy continues to take as many down who will not stay connected to God. Even though this world doesn’t quite look as the world God made, God still has His remnant, His select few, those who will not bow down or worship the gods of this world, who will not lower their standards to accept anyone, who will keep fighting for what they believe till the very end.
Do you fear God? The fear of the Lord is to depart from iniquity. We can never tell if you have the fear of the Lord unless you consistently and intentionally walk by the opportunity to sin. Some virgins have had the opportunity to get under the sheets with someone, but they chose to walk away from it even if it required escaping from a window in their birthday suit.
Where do you draw the line and what is acceptable before God? There isn’t a lot of information in the Bible about the sorts of relationships couples had before they were married. Many times, people got married on the spot, they had no opportunities for dating or courtship, there were arranged marriages or people got married to close family relatives.
Many times we claim that we want to get to know someone before we commit to marriage but instead of getting to know someone by asking them the hard questions they don’t expect or drafting a vision for our marriage or seeking counselling together, we are eating out, watching movies and posting pictures online which isn’t bad but falls short of our goal as we are exposed to the enemy.
Jacob and Rachel’s relationship in the Bible stand out because they got married fourteen years after they met but the Bible is silent about the details. How did they handle their strong sexual emotions during that long period? Was Laban keeping an eye on Rachel while Jacob worked for him? Was Jacob content to have sex with Leah only and not with Rachel? Were they sneaking out to the woods ever so often? How does God want us managing our strong emotions pending when we sign on the dotted lines?
What does God think about virgins? There are a few examples of virgins mentioned in the Bible. But why the emphasis? Why was the status of their virginity recorded? Esther was among the virgins chosen when the king was searching for a wife to replace Vashti. Mary was a virgin and she gave birth to Jesus, our Saviour. Abraham’s servant was looking out for a virgin who came to the well. Lot’s daughters were virgins in Sodom (of all places). Could God refuse to entrust us with certain assignments because we are no longer virgins?
Do virgins have a stable marriage? There’s no research to prove this. However, many virgins are sexually naive and inexperienced and if their partners are virgins as well, they would not have to bother with trying to please someone who is more exposed than they are and won’t have to deal with soul ties. Many who get married as virgins are not prone to having extramarital affairs as they have learned the art of discipline unlike those who were not virgins before marriage, the chances are high that they will not be disciplined after the wedding.
virgins are sexually naive and inexperienced and if their partners are virgins as well, they would not have to bother with trying to please someone who is more exposed than they are and won’t have to deal with soul ties.
We live in such an ungodly and immoral world. We are constantly bombarded and inundated with sexual images and nuances from dawn to dusk on the billboards, on our phones, in print and online with or without our consent. And what was once unacceptable and off limits have gradually taken a seat at our tables in recent times.
The advent of the Internet and social media apps was great but now we are constantly having to filter what we think is OK as we sift through what’s right or wrong. Even those who claim to love the Lord don’t quite agree with one another about what’s acceptable and what’s not.
Masturbation is a topic that’s in the grey area as the word is neither mentioned in the Bible nor discussed. And many of us think, it may be OK and should be acceptable since it doesn’t involve being under the sheets with anyone.
The times may have changed but God’s standards haven’t. There’s nothing new that hasn’t been and if God thought that every imagination of the heart of man was evil, desperate and wicked when he sent the flood, what does He think about the state of our world today?
In recent times, the definitions of sin and evil are dotted along a wide spectrum depending on who you speak to. Anything that doesn’t bring God glory is sin even though we don’t feel guilty about it, even if we don’t hurt others and even if it is celebrated or has become the norm. When we stand before God in a coming day, it will be God’s standard and not ours that will be the yard stick.
Many who grew up with little or no love and attention in childhood have an empty love tank and they are usually desperate looking for love in the wrong places. When we get into wrong relationships, we can’t really blame anyone. We gave off the wrongs signals and the wrong people picked it up and that’s how we got to where we did.
The enemy sells us a lie that being with someone under the sheets will fill that gaping hole in our hearts and when they don’t, we are left with a broken heart as the person we thought would really love us walks out on us and we keep hopping from one relationship to another looking for the love only God can give.
Jesus is returning for a blameless church. Not for a crowd of half-hearted Christians or a congregation of those with a partial commitment to follow Jesus. There is no middle ground, we are either on fire for God or not. We have either decided to follow Jesus or not. It’s the cross before us and the world behind or not. We can’t keep serving God at our convenience or on our own terms. Joshua asked the children of Israel: Choose you this day whom you will serve.
We can’t be singing at deafening decibels in the church choir or praying at our loudest at night vigils or even acting with so much piety and deceiving ourselves while we are enjoying the pleasures of sin under the sheets with others who claim to fear God or sending nude pictures to people who shouldn’t have privy to those or subscribing to pornographic material across our devices.
There will be surprises in heaven. Many people who think will be there won’t get past the pearly gates. Many people who think they are children of God will find out too late that they were not and never were. The Lord knows those who are His and those that are the Lord’s should depart from evil and iniquity.
Being a Christian isn’t about the number of church events you attend or what earthly titles and positions you have got or whether you have a name that’s mentioned in the Bible or you were born into a Christian home. Have you surrendered your life to Jesus, are you led daily by God’s Spirit and are you consistent and intentional about pleasing the Lord no matter the cost.
Knowing the correct password—saying ‘Master, Master,’ for instance—isn’t going to get you anywhere with me. What is required is serious obedience—doing what my Father wills. I can see it now—at the Final Judgment thousands strutting up to me and saying, ‘Master, we preached the Message, we bashed the demons, our God-sponsored projects had everyone talking.’
And do you know what I am going to say? ‘You missed the boat. All you did was use me to make yourselves important. You don’t impress me one bit. You’re out of here.’ Matthew 7.21-23
Agreeing to be part of an endless relationship that heading nowhere because we aren’t quite ready to make a commitment or because we are saving up for a lavish wedding ceremony will leave us easily available and attractive to the enemy. We have an enemy who is relentless and aggressive and is looking for who to take down next. May he not find us available. It’s better to get married at a low-key celebration at a court’s registry to please the Lord than to please family and friends saving for a fairy-tale wedding while enjoying the pleasures of sin.
And what do you do if you’re no longer a virgin? It’s time to repent and come to the cross to receive God’s forgiveness. God’s grace is bigger than our greatest regrets. In times of ignorance, God overlooked but now He commands everyone everywhere to repent because He has appointed a day when he will judge the world in righteousness.
You can’t turn back the hands of time even if you sign up for medical procedures at state-of-the-art medical facilities around the world that claim to be able to repair broken hymen (hymenoplasty) and many who have had this procedure are now referred to as ‘virgins’ again but this doesn’t change the details before God.
There’s no need to cry over split milk and don’t try to hide this detail from your prospective spouse. You don’t want them finding it out later and that could have a devastating impact on your relationship. You can decide today that you will remain pure till you sign on the dotted lines.
Praying and fasting against sexual temptation isn’t enough, God wants us getting off our knees and taking drastic actions to run away from sin. Jesus said, ‘If your eye, hand and feet cause you to sin, cut it off. It’s better for you to enter into heaven with one eye, hand and feet than with two of each and be thrown into hell’.
It’s not an actual removal of your eye or an amputation of these parts that is the solution but an intentional and consistent stance to stay away from anything and anyone that will draw us away from the Lord or quench the Spirit in our lives.
Keeping pure in such an ungodly and immoral world may seem tough but it is possible. So, how do you stay pure in an ungodly world?Stay close to the Lover of your soul, spend time in prayer, worship and the study of God’s word daily. Something happens to your heart, the longer you linger in God’s presence. The enemy will take us down when we least expect it, especially, we are empty and idle.Stay away from anyone (even if they ‘go’ to church) and anything that wants to take you back into the ‘world’, surround yourself with godly friends and mentors (they are not many, but are available) who will encourage, support and challenge you to live for God.Keep your lips and hands to yourself and don’t forget to zip up always. None of us is strong or immune to the attacks of the enemy. Don’t start a fire you can’t quench or control. Don’t start or agree to be part of a relationship that’s heading nowhere. Don’t send out those steamy texts or nude pics. Don’t click on that website, it gets harder to stop a bad habit when it becomes an addiction.The battle field is in our minds, we win or lose the battle of sexual temptation in our minds. Guard your fragile heart, beware of the music you listen to, the movies you watch and the places you go to, the friends you have, these all have the potential to leave an imprint on our minds.Be confident in who God says you are and stop listening to the lies of the enemy that you are not complete till you are with someone. Ask God for unusual courage and the willpower to walk away from anyone who will take you away from God’s plan for you.
Our churches are full of elegantly dressed men and women who have never had an encounter with the Man who died in Calvary. Don’t join the staggering statistics of those on the broad way to hell.
May God keep you on the narrow path, that’s counter-cultural, may your heart continue to pant after God as you live to please Him daily. Amen