It’s really sad when you meet or hear about so many young folks who have decided to put their lives on pause mode waiting for a ring on their finger or a change of last names before their lives can truly begin. Life is so brief and it will be unfortunate if we continue to postpone all we can be and do now till we sign on the dotted lines.
“Let’s not just count the years, let’s make the years count.”
Many who have achieved so much are either focused individuals or couples married to spouses who challenge and encourage their hunger for more but many find out too late they could have been better alone than stuck with people who are more of a burden or a liability.
Let’s refuse to be held back by the stereotypes or traditions that were handed to us, let’s push past the barriers, even the self-imposed limits and give life our best. Let’s not just count the years, let’s make the years count. When the candles on your birthday cake begin to cost more than the cake, the more important question wouldn’t be ‘Are you married?’ but ‘What have you done with your life?’
For many couples, getting married limits the options to what they can do, then getting married to someone who doesn’t share your vision or values may completely close the doors to any future dreams and ambitions. Many couples are unable to come to terms with the quality of their lives now after the wedding compared to what it was before they walked down the aisle.
“Marriage is only a piece of the puzzle.”
You will never value the power of freedom you have now till it’s gone. Once, you get married, you would have to check in with someone else almost every now and then if something to be done is ok or not. And if you are stuck with an insecure, domineering or risk-averse spouse, only you will be able to fully describe the nightmare you will be up against for the rest of your life.
Unless you are making frantic efforts to stay away from marriage, none of us can clearly tell if God wants us to remain single or married. When you are old and grey, with a reduced amount of energy and funds, I hope you don’t regret that you wish you had done something great with your life instead of waiting to get married before you launched out.
God has given each of us a freewill but He neither intrudes nor enforces His will on us but when we decide to get married, we are inadvertently signing away a part or all of that freedom away. I hope that person is worth it. Would you rather be alone and make your life count than married and up all night thinking about all the things you could have achieved with your life?
Marriage is only a piece of the puzzle, so, pending when we find love or are found by love, here are few ideas you can do on your own to stay engaged while leaving an imprint on this generation:
Enjoy A Great Relationship With the Lover Of Your Soul: Before you were born, God knew you and His love was enough but now we are desperately searching for love outside God. Many people get married with a broken and empty heart hoping to get it will be healed and filled by someone else when all they need is a great relationship with Jesus. Marriage is not a cure for loneliness and marriage won’t give you what only God can.
You don’t need to wait to get married before you can spend quality time with Jesus, you can enjoy great time of worship, prayer and the study of God’s word alone. Many married couples don’t even connect spiritually so why trade your personal and enriching relationship with God with someone who will quench your zeal for God?
Discover & Fulfill Your Assignment: None of us is here on earth with no purpose or assignment. It’s not enough to know that you have an assignment, there’s also no value discovering that assignment if we won’t fulfill it. God’s desire is that we will be actively involved, pursuing His plans for us with full focus and occupying till He returns.
Have you discovered why God sent you to planet earth? Have you discovered your gifts and talents? Are making the most of the opportunities and resources God has entrusted to you? True and lasting joy doesn’t come from a lavish wedding celebration or a romantic honeymoon but waking up each day to pursue the assignment God has for you.
Mentor & Coach Someone: Your life’s experience will surely be a great help to someone. Our world is bereft of role models and lots of young folks are repeating the same mistakes the older ones have committed in the past because we are all too busy caught up in our own worlds. You don’t have to be married to be an example to others.
You can lend a hand to so many young folks who are roaming our world with no purpose and direction. Our jails are full, drug mules, pimps and abortions clinics are enjoying booming businesses because lots of young men and women have lost their direction. Will you mentor someone and reduce the number of clueless people causing more chaos in our world?
Launch Your Business: Many times, we assume, only a global business that’s employing thousands is worth the trouble and we continue to compare ourselves or refuse to consider that business idea that we’ve nurtured and contemplated for so long. Your business idea is yours; you don’t be a copycat, compete with anyone or impress anyone who cares less about you. Start small, grow it, make it sustainable.
The objective is, first to serve a purpose by solving a problem and hopefully as a result, we can make a profit. Many businesses have gone bankrupt after the owners got married because their spouses were not on the same page about the goals and objectives of the business, or they didn’t share the same passion or they were threatened by a spouse who had a business they couldn’t handle.
Go Back To School: Many of us earned our first and only degrees many decades ago and even though the world has moved on, we haven’t. You don’t have to wait to get married before you commit to life-long learning. When we are young, we learn to read but as we grow older, we have to commit to reading to keep learning. Don’t stay at a job that’s below your potential when you can upgrade you skills and get better opportunities.
Some people have met their spouses when they went back to college for another degree. Never be satisfied with where and what you have achieved, there’s still so much ‘land yet to be conquered’. Our objective to going back to school shouldn’t be about bagging as many degrees but upgrading our cerebrum to enable us solve more problems in our communities.
Give Your Life To A Noble Cause: We live in a very selfish and self-centered world that beckons us to focus on ourselves and our wants and desires. We work hard from dawn to dusk, waiting for our pay check at the end of the month, only to splash all that cash on ourselves. The thought of ‘giving back’ comes across as rather strange who grew up in communities where this was not the norm. The pressure to get married can be so overwhelming, why not take the focus of yourself and pour your life into others?
There are lots of opportunities to give back. You could give your time regularly volunteering at an orphanage or a hospice. You could make a regular contribution to host a soup kitchen to homeless children or even give your skills and resources to meet a need in a socially-deprived community. When you commit to give your time and resources to a noble cause, you won’t be idle contemplating why you are not yet married.
Invest In Eternity: None of us would be here forever and all out trophies and triumphs will crumble into the dust someday. It’s great to live a great legacy behind and a huge inheritance for your kids but investing in eternity has an even greater reward. What can you do to invest in eternity? What can you do to propagate the gospel and expand the territories of God’s kingdom?
You don’t have to be married to consider going on a short-term missions trip. You can volunteer with a mission agency to bring the good news of the gospel to unreached people groups around the world. You can use your funds to support the spread of the gospel in places you may never go to. You don’t need executive positions or fancy titles to make a difference. You can start with what you have, and you can start today!
Write A Book: Never say you can’t write a book. Everyone one of us has a story to tell and the world is waiting to hear it. Cemeteries are the most expensive pieces of property, beneath it lies, good intentions, plans that never saw the light of day, inventions that were never discovered and books that were never written. Year in and out, our world loses the best and brightest brains and all the knowledge that was never shared with the world.
Not a lot of people start writing books after they are married, there’s just a lot more to keep up with not limited to boring spouses, demanding kids, nosy in-laws and everything else in between. Now is the time to make use of the extra time you’ve got to put pen to paper and publish that book you have always wished you could. If there’s a book you’ve always wanted to read but are yet to find it, maybe you’ll be the one to write it.
Travel Halfway Around The World: The world is gradually collapsing into a small village and if you think that you will only visit all the other continents after you get married, you may be surprised to be stuck with someone who thinks that going away for a vacation is a waste of time and money. Now is the time to save up your cash and travel to wherever you want, learn about the different places and cultures around the world.
Our brains and social development is largely impacted by the number of new places and things we adapt ourselves to. You can choose to travel alone, with a friend or in a group with others as often as you can afford it and clock in the miles before your globetrotting is restricted or abolished forever.
Buy Your First House: It is a myth that only married couples should own a home while those who are unmarried should rent theirs. It’s also a stereotype that unmarried women shouldn’t own their homes. Many times, if we tracked our expenses, we would be shocked at how much money we’ve earned over the years. Many people work for companies that offer very low mortgage rates and employees can build or own their homes, but they don’t take advantage of it because they think they shouldn’t bother because they are not yet married.
It’s better to live in your own hut than rent someone’s mansion. You don’t have to live in the house you’ve bought, you can earn extra money by renting it out to someone else. Once you buy your home, you never have to get worried about a landlord knocking at your door. You can even use your home as a collateral to get more loans for more investment. If you don’t want to live in it or rent it, you could consider offering it as a shelter for the homeless and vulnerable as a ministry. There’s so much that can be done with an asset like a house.
Learn Something New- Music, Sport, Language, Skill: A large amount of time, resources and energy is lost after you get married. It may not be intentional but many times, we are left with no choice as other urgent and pressing issues drain our time and attention. Now is the time to stretch your brain and learn as much as you can. After you get married, you will be sandwiched between two demanding generations and have little or no time for you as simple things will become a luxury.
Life goes by quickly and many people look back in regret, had they known, they would have learnt something different before they walked down the aisle. Many people have no clue that they have a dormant potential waiting to be harnessed. You could learn a new skill and make some money teaching others what you’ve learnt. You could even ditch your boring and mundane day job and begin a new career with your new hobby. Never say never, refuse to remain on the path of mediocrity and strive for excellence as the sky is longer the limit.
Adopt A Child: There’s been an ongoing debate about who can adopt a child especially in recent times with all those who have shown a keen interest. The opportunities for fostering and adoption are also on the rise with many families breaking down and being torn apart. But if the quality of a child’s life will be much better because of your love and care, then it’s time to take the leap and begin the process to bring a bundle of joy home.
If taking full responsibility for a child may seem overwhelming just yet, you can adopt an orphanage and send regular funds for their upkeep or even adopt a child or children from families that are struggling and commit to pay a scholarship for their tuition.
Invent Something New, Solve A Problem: Our world is in such a state because many of us are great about talking about what the problem is and criticizing those who are trying to do anything about it. We have succeeded in wasting our time doing other things but think. Can we begin to spend some time thinking and proffer solutions to the problems our families, communities or the world has been grappling for years.
You don’t have to be a research scientist or a prophetess, you can make a difference in your sphere of influence. Don’t wait till you are recognized as a philanthropist or a politician, you can begin small. What needs to be fixed in your community? What would put a smile on someone’s face? Don’t walk by the opportunity to be a blessing when you can. There is a purpose that you are where you are at such a time like this. It’s time to stop making noise, let’s take action.