These people have not heard from God about the details of any relationships and they continue to hop from one guy or one lady to another hoping to get only what God can give. The disadvantage with getting into a relationship when you are broken is that when you finally get whole and healed, those relationships will become irrelevant because they don’t meet your needs anymore.
When we refuse to upgrade ourselves spiritually, emotionally and intellectually, we will stay on in ungodly, unhealthy and abusive relationships. People in toxic relationships don’t know they are being intoxicated emotionally. It’s only people on the outside who are looking in that are usually concerned for them, but they are unable to see it.
Broken people attract brokenness and baggage. We attract what feeds our souls. If you are in a relationship where there is so much hurt and pain, that’s proof that your heart is still broken.
Many married couples that are struggling today saw all the red flags but they either chose to stay on or lacked the courage and will power to walk away from it. They hoped that their prospective spouse will change but people don’t change like that overnight.
Change is so hard; we all want the benefits of change but not a lot of us are prepared to take action and do the hard work that’s required to make the drastic change happen.
You don’t need a rocket scientist or a prophetess to interpret the strange writings on the wall, we all know when we are stuck in relationships, we are no longer excited about.
Communication is a two-way street. When the silence is deafening and you have to constantly rely on your feelings to judge the status and security of your relationship, isn’t it time to part ways?
You know when you are the only one doing all the pursuing while the other person is lax, or no longer interested and you are suffocating them with your calls and texts dying to hear them say something to you. You are being indirectly manipulated and controlled. They know what to do to push your buttons as you are no longer in control.
Why stay on in a relationship when your expectations are not aligned? You want something, but they want something else. Some people are stuck with people who just want to be in a relationship but have no plans to get married. The earlier the better you jump off a ship that’s just meandering and heading nowhere.
We know when we have been used and dumped, they were never interested in us, we let down our guards too quickly and now they have moved on. They may be there in body, but their spirits and souls have long been shutdown. When your calls and texts are no longer responded with the same alacrity with which it once was or you’re constantly checking if they’ve read your message or justifying why they haven’t responded.
It’s so strange and absurd to stay on in a relationship with someone you love, but they don’t love you. You enjoy being with them, but they don’t. Can’t you get the message that your relationship has gone past its expiry date? Don’t wait till you outstay your welcome, why not pack your bags and leave now than wait till you’re thrown under the bus?
Why stay on in a relationship when you are not challenged to be a better person? You are spiritually, emotionally and intellectually mature than your so-called prospective spouse and you continue to short-change yourself hoping they will grow up when they have no plans to.
It’s so sad that even before marriage, people have been physically abused and that doesn’t imply or condone that marriage is an ok time or place to abuse anyone. But many emotionally unstable persons and broken individuals think it’s ok to transfer their baggage and brokenness to someone else.
And it’s sadder because these broken people know how to get you back, they offer you a bait of cash, sex or a favor and all their sins are wiped away only to be repeated as soon as their triggers set off while many of us have remained in unhealthy relationships as our spiritual and emotional energy have been drained.
What value is there in staying on in a relationship where there has been so much lies and dishonesty? They say something but mean something else. They are always ahead of themselves and always have an explanation for something. But you keep giving them just another chance and it’s been three years of lies and dishonesty.
You know that whenever you ask them certain questions, they flare up or threaten you never to bring it up again. Why stay on in a relationship with unknown variables? This is not faith; it is sheer foolishness. Why stay on with someone when some topics will never be up for discussion?
It’s time to move on from a relationship when you are ashamed or afraid to be yourself when you are with them. How long will you keep pretending to be someone else? If they have given cues that they don’t like you just the way you are, then there’s really nothing else you can do to please them. There’s so far, we can all go with the pretense.
You’ve been walking around on eggshells with them, you are so scared of saying or doing whatever will get them upset. We no longer worship idols made of wood and stone but now, idols with flesh and bones. You want to keep holding on to this relationship at all cost when you know it’s no longer adding any value.
You are so special to God and have so much worth in His eyes. Why are you begging for someone’s love and attention when you can receive and enjoy God’s unconditional love as often as you want in His presence. Why are you keeping up with a chase that’s draining you spiritually and emotionally?
Fear keeps us locked and caged. We think the world will end if and when we lose this person and we hold on to rubbish when God is calling us to a higher place. We are afraid that there may not be someone else for us and we cling to what’s fading and won’t last.
You know the quality of your life has deteriorated since you met this person, your passion and fire for God has been quenched since you guys got intimate. You would never share nude pictures and get involved in sexting but now behind closed doors, this relationship has taken you further away from God.
You’ve watched the mess in your parent’s marriage, and you swore never to tow that line but here you are stuck with someone who doesn’t fear God. You claim to be a child of God, but you know God is not proud of your relationship and all that goes on behind those closed doors.
When we decide to get involved in a relationship, we are usually attracted to something about this person or because we share common goals and values. Why stay on in a relationship with someone who doesn’t care about your priorities and values? They have no clue about where God is taking you and they have succeeded in putting a lid on your steam.
Some ladies have desperately received an engagement ring, fully aware that this person is not God’s preferred choice for them and will take them further away from all God’s got in store for them. It’s been months or even years and you know you are wasting your life in a relationship heading nowhere.
Some people would have excelled in flying colors in their degree at college, but one silly relationship and their grades have plummeted and not just that but with such a poor grade, getting a decent unemployment is almost impossible. And this would have been avoided if not for a series of purposeless relationships that distracted and derailed them.
Many are from godly homes where prayers were said, and the Bible was read regularly but one bad relationship and parents can’t recognize their children anymore as they are knee-deep in ungodliness and immorality. How does someone from such an intense spiritual climate get attracted to sin and depravity if they were not pretending all the while with no personal and functional relationship with God?
Don’t wait till your unhealthy relationship heading nowhere becomes a crumbling marriage that will end in a divorce, it’s time to do something different. If we will see God do amazing things in and through us, we must be prepared to walk away from anything and anyone who will draw us away from Him.
God’s assignment for a lot of us is at risk as long as we remain in relationships that will jeopardize its fulfillment. Many times, when we have been wet and naked with these people, we lack the courage and willpower to move on. We’ve been tethered to these people in soul ties and they have a hold on us.
It’s time to move on. It’s time to leave that relationship that’s draining you, that God isn’t proud of, that you are not excited about, that’s taking you away from God’s plan for you, that is quenching your passion for God and His kingdom. The time is now, today, not tomorrow.
When we give ourselves time to think about it, we will begin to consider or listen to the lies of the enemy and fall back into the same patterns and cycles. You know you should have left this relationship two years ago, but you didn’t. You are exhausted, tired and you promised God that it would be a clean break and a fresh start this year.
I pray for you that every stronghold of the enemy is broken off over your life in Jesus name. Amen. May God open your eyes to see how much you have been deceived and how far away you have gone from him and grant you a fresh vision of all His plans for you.
May you hear God’s voice again calling you away from mediocrity and immorality. May His still and tender voice drown out the lies of the enemy that you have believed. You are not worthless and not a victim, you are God’s chosen one. I pray that God will empower you to arise, grieve the relationship heading nowhere and find purpose and worth in Him.
May God heal your broken heart from the hurt and betrayal, the deception and the disappointment. I pray that God will grant you courage to walk tall again, confident in who you are in Him and not cling to what is fading. May God grant your heart desires and bring your way a spouse who fears Him and who will fulfill purpose with you. Amen
Drastic results require drastic measures. Remind yourself: I’m moving on today, I receive unusual grace and courage to move on from any relationship heading nowhere, I’ll rather be alone than short-change myself and miss out on all God has in store for me.
Don’t keep in touch with these people as just friends, nicely and courteously let them know you are moving on and then block all communication channels. Delete all previous communications and every remembrance of them as it’s easy to go back to begin to meditate on what was once alive between you.
Those who who have been under the sheets find out that it’s harder to detach and move on. Pray that God will severe every soul ties and this person will become unattractive to you and you will also be unattractive to them. It may take a longer time but it will eventually happen. It’s time to starve all the desires for them so you can reconnect with God and His plans for you.
And if you received any gifts in cash or kind, it’s time to return, refund or agree on a repayment plan. None of those things were yours in the first place. Even if the bride price has been paid, it can all be returned. You don’t want to regret for a lifetime about a decision you could have walked away from.
I pray for you that in your low and lonely moments, you will receive unusual strength from spending time in God’s presence to stay away and not give in to reconnecting with them. If we don’t spend time with God, we will not hear how special we are and His plans for us but will continue to run from pillar to post desperately searching for love in the wrong places.
When we break up relationships, it is normal to feel sad and unhappy about the investment of our time, emotions and resources that’s gone down the drain with no hope of recovery. It’s only in hindsight, many years later when you see how your ex’s marriage has turned out, you would be glad you jumped off the ship heading nowhere.
A broken engagement is better than a divorce. Once you’ve signed on the dotted lines, God expects you to keep your vows. You have the choice to move on today, you’ve not been hypnotized, you can rewrite the story of the rest of your life by surrendering to be led by God’s Spirit in your relationship.